Zoëtry Mallorca Wellness & Spa

There is no kid reality here, because children aren't allowed. Zoëtry Mallorca is an adults-only Hyatt Inclusive resort - the booking system enforces it and the property has no family configuration of any kind. We're listing it because we get asked about it constantly: it's photogenic, it's all-inclusive, it shows up in every Mallorca shortlist. Save the link, not the booking.

If you can engineer a kid-free week, it's one of the calmer, more grown-up stays on the island - restored 19th-century estate near Llucmajor in inland southern Mallorca, three restaurants, proper spa, indoor and outdoor pools, all-inclusive done quietly rather than loudly. The vibe is wellness, wine, long lunches, no children's voices anywhere. Worth bookmarking for later.

Doubles and suites only, with no family or connecting configuration available - by design. Beds are excellent, blackout works, and breakfast in bed is included. None of which is useful information when you have a four-year-old.

Inland Llucmajor location, about 25 min from Palma airport. You'd want a car for anything off-property, including the nearest beach (10 - 15 min drive). The grounds are small, walkable, and gentle on the eye - but there's no version of this stay where a stroller belongs in the picture.

Three restaurants on site (Mediterranean, à la carte, casual), all included. Cuisine is genuinely good - not the buffet-fatigue all-inclusive most people have in mind. Wine list runs deeper than the price tag suggests. None of which has a kids' menu, because there are no kids.

• LunchRestaurant MaiorisHonest Mallorquin lunch a short drive away - open to everyone.
• ActivityCapocorb Vell ruinsBronze-age stone settlement 6 km from the resort - quietly remarkable.